Nabobs of the Comstock II , “Innocents at Home”, Mark Twain

Nabob:  A very rich or important person, a person of great wealth or prominence; M. Webster

 

   Remember we were about to tell you of John Smith, a quick made nabob who was a good, honest, kind-hearted soul, but miraculously ignorant.

 

   Being from the lower ranks of life, he drove a team, and owned a small ranch- a ranch that paid him a comfortable living, for although it yielded but little hay, what little it did yield was worth from $250 to $300 in gold per ton in the market.  Presently Smith traded a few acres of the ranch for a small undeveloped silver mine in Gold Hill.  He opened the mine, and built a little unpretending ten stamp mill.  Eighteen months afterward he retired from the hay business, for his mining income had reached a most comfortable figure.  Some people said it was $30,000 a month, and others said it was $60,000.  Smith was very rich at any rate.

   And then he went to Europe and travelled.  And when he came back he was never tired of telling about the fine hogs he had seen in England, and the gorgeous sheep he had seen in Spain, and fine cattle he had noticed in the vicinity of Rome.  He was fullof the wonders of the Old World, and advised everybody to travel.  He said a man never imagined what surprising things there were in the world till he had travelled. 

   One day, on board ship, the passengers made up a pool of $500, which was to be the property of the man who should come nearest to guessing the run of the vessel for the next twenty-four hours.  Next day, toward noon, the figures were all in the purser’s hands, in sealed envelopes.  Smith was serene and happy, for he had been bribing the engineer.  But another party won the prize!  Smith said:  “Here, that won’t do! He guessed two miles wider of the mark than I did.”

   The purser said, “Mr. Smith, you missed it further than any man on board.  E travelled two hundred and eight miles yesterday.”

   “Well, sir,” said Smith, “that’s just where I’ve got you, for I guessed two hundred and nine.  If you’ll look at my figures again, you’ll find a 9 (2009), which stands for two huindred and nine.  I reckon I’ll take that money, if you please.”

 

Next time:  The Gould and Curry claim sells

 

See ya on the hill !                                               

C.L. Yearzago